She ain't gonna call him. Ain't no way she gonna call him

My sister, K, is new to the online dating world. She recently broke up with her long-term boyfriend, and has decided to make an effort to put herself out there. She signed up for a free online dating site (the same one where my friend A met her new husband, actually. Congrats, A&E!), and started emailing with a few guys.

She made plans to meet up with one potential suitor, though she had her doubts. "He.... he bought a carbon credit," she said! Now, while that may sound like a good thing, to K, who is super environmentally active, and knows a TON about this kind of stuff, it was a near deal-breaker. I personally thought that was the best and most hilarious reason ever for not going going out with someone - he bought a carbon credit! Anyway, she decided to give it a shot, because as anyone who's ever been on a few blind dates will tell you, you never know.

However, she quickly learned that she should have trusted her instincts. The guy was not only unattractive, and looked nothing like his pictures, but he was missing teeth. Missing teeth! He was also a vegan (though this would be a deal-breaker for me, she's a vegetarian and cool with it. Me? I need to be able to cook chicken and steak for romantic dinners), and took her to a quote-unquote "vegan" restaurant. Well, it turns out it was just a "vegetarian" restaurant, and what he ordered, which he claimed he always got, had cheese in it. "I wasn't gonna be the one to tell him," K said. She did mention that she could never be a vegan, because of her love of ice cream and cheese, and the guy proceeded to spend several minutes telling her that the reason most people say that is because they put something in cheese that is akin to heroin to keep you addicted. As he's eating cheese, mind you.

The best part is that after the date, they walk out of the restaurant, and he says "this was fun." Her response? "Uh... yeah, I'll call you." An older African-American couple happened to be walking by at the time and the woman turned to the man and said, "She ain't gonna call him. Ain't no way she gonna call him."

Good call, lady.