The Date That Never Happened

This one (we'll call him Y. Why? Because I like you) was from Match, and though I don't think he realized it, we had chatted the last time I was signed up on the site, about a year before. I started over with a new user name and pictures, so I don't know if he noticed. I can't remember why we didn't meet up that time, but I think it might have had to do with the fact that he lived pretty far south of where I did, though by now he had moved up to the City.

So, we emailed back and forth a few times, and then my subscription expired, and I hadn't gotten his last email. I had actually tried to renew my membership, but the Match sign-up form wouldn't work for a few days there (good work, guys!), so I gave up. He actually managed to find me on Facebook and contact me there - a little weird, maybe, but I didn't think it was too big of a deal. I finally gave him my number and he called me earlier this week.

From the beginning of the conversation, I could tell I was going to be annoyed with him, but I was really trying to keep an open mind! At the advice of my good friend D (one of my only male friends!), I've been trying to have the attitude that I should meet or go on a second date with anyone who isn't an absolute, total "no" from the beginning. Y's voice was a bit nasally, but hey, it's just the phone and you never know what someone will be like in person. The conversation was decent at first - he was debating going to bed at 9:30, which I said was a luxury and he thought was too nerdy, and I was talking about my day and how it had involved a lot of TiVo and Scrabulous. He says, "ok, two questions. First, how are you at Scrabulous?" "Not that good, but I'm getting better," I say, explaining that I hadn't really played Scrabble before, and that the logistics of figuring out the best possible word combination wasn't my best skill. "How are you?" I asked, and he says, "I'm really good." Just the way he said it... I can't really explain it. I'm silent, and he stammers to fill the space. "Well... I mean, I just know a lot of random words! Like I laid down [random ass word A] and [random word B] today." "You thought going to bed at 9:30 was too nerdy, and now you're trying to impress me with your Scrabulous words?" I tease. At one point I tell him, "you can't see me right now, but I'm rolling my eyes at you." But at this point it's playful teasing, and all in good fun.

Then, somehow, we start talking about musical theater. Don't ask me how - you know when you're kind of nervous and just talking about whatever pops into your head, you sometimes take a step back, and go, what the heck am I talking about? Ah, I'll just go with it. Totally one of those moments. I start saying how the musical theater personality is so not my thing and he is agreeing with me until I say that it's cheesy. "Well, I wouldn't say that, since I've done quite a bit of musical theater in the past," he says.

Deal broken. I cannot go out with a guy who has done musical theater.

But, heeding D's advice, I decide to still give it a chance. Why not? There's nothing to lose, besides being a little annoyed. Y asks where I live, and I tell him my cross streets. "F&W, as in the center of violent crime in SF?" he asks. "Um, not really," I say. "No really," he insists, "I always hear gunfire there! And my car always gets broken into when I park over there." Then don't leave stuff in your car, dumbass, I think, but don't say. "Well, I have underground parking and I feel pretty safe here!" "No, really, look it up on the SFPD website! You can track crime in SF and see what kinds occur on your block." Great, sounds really temping.

I attempt to change the subject, but finally just say, as lightheartedly as possible, "well, ok, now that we've both equally offended each other about our musical theater backgrounds and violent neighborhoods, should we just meet in person?" "Did I really offend you," he asks, incredulous. No, I think, who doesn't love hearing about how violent and sketchy their neighborhood is?! Especially from someone who lives about SIX blocks away. "Maybe a little," I say, "but no big deal." I agree to email him to arrange a time to meet up that upcoming weekend. I spend part of the next day trying to convince myself that I should still go out with him, but you know what? I'm not going to. I know myself, and I'm going to be annoyed, so I really don't think it's worth it. He did email me the next day and apologize for offending me, but I haven't written back. I know that's rude and a total cop-out (and feel free to comment if you think I owe him an email), but I guess I don't see the point. What do you all think?